A Much Better Lens

Why must I always see empty, instead of seeing full?

Why must my attitude be so unsure?

I want to start looking through a much better lens,

When life's unexpected moments become a blur.

Are my negative glances noticed by others?

Or have my disguises fooled them all?

In a perfect world, I would show the real me,

Helpless and fragile, as a porcelain doll.

Why don't I have, what everyone else has?

Why is it so hard for me to fit in?

It's impossible to speak, the thoughts in my mind,

It's hard to convey, what you don't understand.

Why can't my few friends, come to my rescue?

Have they already given up on helping me?

I hope they can see, I really want to change,

I want to be the person, God made me to be.

Does God want my life, to be spent sitting?

Does He want me to just watch life pass me by?

Without His strength, I know I can't stand,

And if I can't stand, it may be best to just die.

Is taking my own life, my only way out?

Has my hopelessness truly brought me this far?

The words are electric as they touch my lips,

Just the thought sends a shock to my dying heart.

Was I made a new creation, to merely exist?

Aren't God's tender mercies new every day?

I choose to stop giving the enemy control,

I choose to start living, (God please make a way).

Is this what it feels like, to truly be free?

To know where I'm going, is not where I've been?

I've got a new focus, a new point of view,

I'm looking at life, through a much better lens.